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Ep2. How to Sell Without Hustl... Proving, or Playing Small
Speaker: You, let me be blunt, you do not need another script. You don't need another cold DM strategy. You don't even need another funnel.
(00:14) You don't need another freebie. I know you're probably sitting on a few dusty freebies right now.
(00:22) The truth is you already know how to sell. You've proven that. You've launched. You have sold programs. You've had big cash months. You've made it happen. But if you were selling from hustle, proving, pressure—if your sales only happen when you're working yourself into the ground—then you're really not selling as a conscious leader. You're selling from the wrong level of consciousness.
Now, what do I mean? What you may not know, and what blew my mind when I first discovered this, is that there are four levels of consciousness in business and in sales, and when you recognize that there is a different way of operating, everything can shift.
(01:07) So I'm going to break down these four levels for you, and as I do, I want you to pay attention to where you think you are right now. There are four levels of consciousness that we can sell from, and they determine everything about your business: how sales feel, who you attract into your offers, and how much you hold and how much you burn out.
So let's get into each level so that you can really understand what operating at each level looks like, and how it's impacting your sales, how it's impacting the way your business feels, whether it feels light or this may help uncover what feels heavy. Okay, let's buckle in.
Level One: To Me Consciousness (Victim Mode)
(02:01) Level one consciousness. So level one is called To Me consciousness. And that is victim mode.
(02:14) You know you're in victim mode if right now you have thoughts like:
"Clients aren't buying right now. It's a slow season. No one buys in the summer, fall, winter, spring, school season," whatever time you're putting around it.
If you're saying things like, "The algorithm, the algorithm just hates me. I don't know what it is, but the algorithm, it just feels like it keeps screwing me over."
"People don't pay in my niche, people don't have money right now. They can't afford this."
"It's a bad economy, and that's why people aren't buying."
"My audience is full of freebie seekers."
(03:01) Do you hear a similar theme around it? At this level, you're kind of at the mercy of circumstance. You are blaming external forces, external circumstance as to why you are where you are right now. When you're in victim mode, we know this, you're not in your power. You feel like you're on the receiving end and like you're not in control.
Level Two: By Me Consciousness (The Hustler/Prover)
(03:33) So let's go into level two. Level two says, By Me consciousness. This is the hustler, the prover, and where I find most of my clients. Maybe you too are hanging out here, because this is actually where most successful coaches live. This is where I lived for so long, and in fact, I never even knew that there was another alternative. I didn't know that there was another way. So I was a hustler through and through.
(04:12) So when I was in this level of consciousness, level two, By Me, this sounds like: "I am going to make it happen, no matter what" energy. "I am going to take control. I'm going to force my results into existence, because if anyone can, I can. I am going to make it happen."
(04:37) Now you might say, "Like, yeah, what's wrong with that? That's like a good attitude."
(04:44) And what's tricky about this level is it works. It works. You like white knuckle it, you force it, you push your way through it, you drag your results across the finish line.
(05:00) While it works, the truth is, it is exhausting, and it caps you because you can't force your way to freedom. So often we think more equals more at this level: if I work harder, I'll get the result.
(05:18) And I was living in level two for the majority of my corporate life, my adult life. It definitely, actually drove a lot of my corporate success, where I honestly just outworked everyone. Like, I was the person who would take on more tasks. It was like, "We need someone," and my hand would be immediately up in the air. I'm like, "I've got that. I'll take that extra assignment. I'll work late."
(05:49) I didn't like it, but secretly, I also found a little pride in like, "Wow, I work so much harder than everybody else." And when I looked at my corporate career, it really contributed to a lot of success. I got promoted over and over. I was always a top performer, but I also really experienced burnout. It came at the cost of my health, and I knew it wasn't sustainable.
(06:21) So I... this one is a little bit—I'm just going to say it—this one's a little bit of a mind fuck, because what made you successful in this level of By Me consciousness, again, it works. That's the trick here. It works. However, it feels so hard, it feels heavy. It feels like you're like pushing that boulder up the hill all the time.
And when I started my business, I was operating in the same way. "I'll just push through this launch. I'll do another launch. I'm going to like, over-give in all my programs. I'm going to make sure my clients get results, even if that means I'm going to need to get on extra calls with them. I'm going to need to like drag them into their own results." Like, sometimes, if you've ever felt like you want the result more than your client wants the result, sometimes we can be in this like hustling, proving energy.
Level Three: Through Me Consciousness (Flow)
(07:20) Then let's get to level three, because level three is really where things start to shift. Level three is called Through Me consciousness.
(07:31) This level is all about flow. This is where sales start to feel lighter. Opportunities seem to just line up. People show up and say, "I don't even know why, but I know I need to work with you," because at this level, you're at a level of co-creation.
(08:02) There is a reason why you will see almost any successful person speak about energy, building up their confidence, their belief system. And at this level, you are co-creating with the universe, whether you replace universe with anything else, by the way, that feels just more comfortable for you or more in alignment for you. Whether it's like Source, it might be God, you might believe that there's like any type of higher power. So just know, I might say the universe, but I invite you to replace that with whatever feels true for you.
(08:33) But we know like, we're actually like working with a bigger vision. You're not grinding, you're leading. You are seen as a leader. As Through Me consciousness, you're just in that state of flow where your offers—you've got an idea for an offer, and it feels like exciting, like your whole body is lit up by it—and it's easy for you to just go out and go share it. You're not worried or overthinking, "Have I got my message perfect? Did I use the perfect hook? Maybe my launch plan is not fully mapped out?" No, you're just in flow. And you know when you've been in flow, there have been many times in your life where you have experienced flow.
(09:30) That is why we... the other way we can sometimes think about this is in business or in life, we talk about like masculine and feminine energy. And the truth is that there's a balance. We need both. We need both. So the masculine is like the plan or the prover, right, like structure, and the feminine is about receiving. And oftentimes we are good at one or the other. But really the secret is about balance. It's about both.
(10:02) Where, if we're just all rigid, planning, working, pushing, you're actually blocking part of your receiving, and the receiving is a huge piece of you hitting your next level. We've got to be able to receive.
(10:17) So how good of a receiver are you? If you're great at receiving, you're more likely in level three, because it's in... it's in flow.
(10:25) Here's a really easy way to tell if you're good at receiving: If someone gives you a compliment, someone's like, "Bro, wow, you look great. I really love that outfit." What's the first thing you say? "Oh, this whole thing? Oh, yeah, I don't even know where I found it, just back in my closet. Actually, you know what? I got it on sale. Definitely didn't pay full price." You're like, almost just, you can't take the damn compliment.
(10:46) It's always a good sign, like, easy indicator, right? You're like, where are you letting yourself receive? Maybe out when you're on a date with your partner, they want to pay the bill. Are you like, "No, no, no, no. I got it. I got it." Just let yourself receive. Someone wants to open the door for you, and you're like, "Oh, I got the door." Let yourself receive.
(11:11) So you can see how really, like sometimes our challenge is not actually like the doing of the work. It's allowing the result to come in. So when you're in a state of flow, this is like your natural state.
(11:23) And we need both again. So we talked about why we need the masculine. It provides the structure, the framework, and then we also need the feminine. But if we're just in the feminine of receiving, then we can be a little disconnected. We're kind of like flying up in the air versus being grounded. And we need structure to support the feminine. So we need both things.
(11:47) Now, when you're in Through Me consciousness, you are speaking about your movement in your business. You're speaking about something that's like, bigger than you. And if you started this business, my guess is you started it for something bigger than you. You wanted to make a really big impact. You want to create change. You want to trailblaze in your industry. You're an innovator. You see what is possible, and you dream way bigger. You're also probably the type of person that says, "I don't want like a, like a, quote, unquote, like average life. I want to feel free. I want to experience life. I want to soak up everything life has to offer."
(12:28) So when you're in By Me consciousness, you're like hustling, you're proving, but when you move into Through Me consciousness, you're more in flow. Now I know the question we always ask is, "How, Adrian, how do I move from level two, hustling, proving, By Me consciousness into level three, Through Me?"
(12:51) And this answer, I'm going to be honest, you might not like, because the answer into getting into a state of flow, the answer is releasing control. So where are you white knuckling and gripping onto the results in your business? Like, it's like you've got it in a little choke hold, and you just can't seem to let it go.
(13:19) If you were to release the control, that is how you step into more flow.
(13:27) So how do you release control? Because I know this is hard as a former like controlling girlie, I know this is hard. So how do you step into this easily? The key to releasing control is actually starting to embody the version of you that has what you desire.
Level Four: As Me Consciousness (Embodiment)
(13:49) And this is actually level four. So I'm going to get into level four consciousness.
(13:55) If level one is To Me, victim mode, level two is By Me, the hustler, the prover. Level three is Through Me, flow, and level four is As Me, embodiment.
(14:12) And this is your highest level. You are the result. You are the frequency. You are the niche. You are the movement. You don't need to chase clients, because you are the leader. Like, you are the frequency. Your presence alone activates others. And at this level, sales are going to be a natural, natural byproduct of who you are.
(14:47) So if you think about this, like ability to release control, the way that you're going to release control is you're going to start acting as if you have everything you want right now.
(14:55) So let's take launching for an example. Like there was a time where I would launch so much through like Level Two By Me. I'm like, "I'm going to force this result. I need to get like 10 clients into this program. So how am I going to get that 10?" These 10 are going to come in this way. It's almost like you're mapping it out constantly.
(15:20) Where the moment I started to ask myself: "If I already had the 10 clients in the program, if I wasn't worried about that because it was already done, how would I be talking about the offer? How would I be showing up on my lives?" It's a different energy, because if you already had the thing, you wouldn't be worried about how to get it.
(15:41) Right? Like, if you already are married to your soulmate partner, you're not like, "How do I find this person? What's the best way for me to get this person to be committed to me?" You're like, "No, I just, wow. I'm so grateful for this love. I'm so grateful to have found my soulmate. I'm so grateful for this connection." And that is like, the embodiment.
(16:04) So as you start to ask yourself this question, and it really took me some time to like, really put this into practice. Like, at first I was annoyed. I was like, "Oh, right. I know I need to act as if, you know. Like, I know I need to embody her. But how? How, how, how?" And my mind was so stuck up, so stuck in the how. And instead it was like, the answer was never in the how. It was always in the who. "Who would I be if I already had this now?"
(16:35) And do you see how, even by asking that question, you can start to feel your body like, start to relax, because we cannot be in the feeling of worry when we already have it.
(16:54) So when you start to ask yourself, like, "If I had this right now, if I was like, wow, I'm celebrating like the most amount of clients ever being in this program right now. I'm so grateful for this being my biggest, best launch, the one the launch that feels the most fun, the launch that feels the easiest, wow. I'm so grateful to have that now." You'd be showing up in a different way. It is remembering like you are the result. You are the frequency. You are the niche.
(17:30) And so if sales feel uncomfortable, if sales feel heavy, you're likely still stuck at level one or level two. You're forcing, you're proving or hustling, and that's the thing that is keeping you capped. And once you realize that there is literally a different way for you to be operating, that this is the secret to having really like that collapse of time where you can start to double or triple your results, not in six months from now, but now. The shift, the beautiful thing about this is you can create this shift now.
Conscious Sales: Presence, Not Pressure
(18:06) And this conscious sales method, this is exactly what I love to teach my clients, because the clients that I work with, it's not just about hitting a sales target. Like, sure, money is great. We love making it. Wealth is phenomenal. Let's keep building it. Yes, and more, please.
(18:23) However, what matters even more than that is how you feel in the process. I don't know about you, but I don't want the $100K month if it means that it comes at the cost of my well-being, if it comes at the cost of my relationships, my health, if my business is the only thing that's happening in my life and everything else is taking a back seat.
(18:45) Like I actually don't want that. I want to build the business where the money is a natural byproduct of me living in my mission, of me spending my life doing my life's work, and leading from my authority, radiating my outer authority and letting sales flow from presence, not pressure. That's what the conscious sales method is all about.
(19:10) That's why, when I work with my clients, one of the things that we look at is, of course, how do we increase your revenue? How do we hit that next target that is really exciting and calling to you? And at the same time, how do we have you living a life that you're enjoying even more?
(19:25) This is the difference. This is why you're going to see a lot of people in the coaching space. It's like, there's just like, an over-glorification of numbers, of like, "Oh, look at me. I hit this like big month," and "Isn't that fabulous?" And I'm like, "Well, I want to know what was it like for you behind the scenes." Were you like dragging ass, feeling so tired? Or are you feeling like lit up behind that month? Because it's two totally different things.
(19:53) And that's why, when I work with my clients inside my close proximity masterminds, we look at not just your sales strategy, but we also look at like, how are you living in all other areas of your life, between your... your relationship with money, your relationship with success. How are you feeling about your physical environment? How are you feeling about your spiritual connection? How are you feeling about your health, your relationships with your partner, your relationships with your friends and family?
(20:17) Because we know that like one of those areas dipping down is going to impact other areas of your life, and true conscious leaders are not here just to make a quick buck on the internet.
(20:26) If you're a conscious leader, you're are here for something so much bigger than just making a fast dollar. You're here because you have been gifted this assignment. You've had this nudge that has been on your heart for so long that even when you try to ignore it, you're like, "Damn, I guess I've been given this assignment. I gotta go, this like idea that I've had. I can't let it go."
(20:51) Which is why, maybe even in your business, you've had these like pivot points in your business where you've had offers that have worked, that have sold, but now are no longer filling you up. You're bored. They feel heavy. And actually, this... you've had this nudge to do something different, to get a new offer out there, to expand or to shift, and even who you want to work with.
(21:18) And that's the beauty of this work is it expands you, and as you expand, you are going to shift. Your business is going to shift. And that's actually a really beautiful thing, and the sooner you allow that versus like force or resist it, the more like, just like, the faster you're going to see this next level come in.
Inner and Outer Authority: The Conscious Sales Shift
(21:40) So how do you actually shift these levels? That's where this inner and outer authority method comes in.
Inner Authority (The Inside Game)
(21:49) I always speak about making this conscious sales shift as having your inner authority. This is the inside game. It's your identity. We do not rise or fall to the level of our goals or what we wish. We rise or fall to the level of our identity, to what we feel worthy of having.
(22:10) So your inner authority, this is about you becoming a match, a match for the clients that you really want to work with. You becoming a match for the wealth frequency you really want to hold. It's also clearing the blocks, the patterns, the proving energy, because when you claim inner authority, you lead yourself first. You're not waiting for permission. You're not waiting for an arbitrary milestone to give you the confidence to move forward. You set the standard now. You anchor your energy.
(22:50) There are so many studies that show that every single being on this planet like emits an energy. There is a literal frequency that you are emitting right now, and that frequency works like a magnet, because like attracts to like.
(23:04) A certain frequency that you are operating at: If you're operating from a frequency of struggle, you're going to attract struggle, struggling clients, struggling situations.
(23:16) Now, when we think about our frequency, which is just the predominant energy that you have, like the predominant thoughts and beliefs that you have, you... that you're going to be attracting what you're a match for. This does not mean that you do not have negative thoughts or feelings or experiences, like, not at all. That's part of life. It's part of humanity. It's part of the duality of right being a human. But what it is looking at, because we all have moments of these like negative thought spirals. We all have moments where we feel down, where we've had a shit day, a shit week, maybe even a crappy month. And it's really looking at what is the overarching mindset and identity that you have, because that is the thing that is so key.
(24:08) So you want to really be thinking about, how can you prioritize, not just your sales and business strategy, but also, how are we being super intentional about your energy, how you learn how to expand it, how you learn to increase the frequency of your thoughts, of your beliefs, of your patterns, because you really do set the standard.
(24:34) When you claim your inner authority, you lead yourself first. You walk into a room and people like feel your presence without you saying a word.
(24:47) It's why you can have the best funnel out there. But if you created that funnel from this energy, from this space of, "This has got to work. This better sign clients. I better not be putting all my energy into creating this thing, and then if it doesn't work. What a waste of time. Oh, wow, I did that masterclass. Only 10 people signed up. So that was a waste of time." Like this idea, like, "Only, only two people joined my group program." "I only had a 5K month."
(25:19) "Only, only" is really rooted in lack, and lack only creates more lack. So your words matter. I want you to like really think about what are the predominant words, thoughts that come up for you, because we want to swap out that lack for more abundant, more positive thinking. Because that positive thinking, that abundant mindset is only going to create more opportunity. It's expansive versus lack, which is restricting, and it is literally blocking off the flow of success kind of coming to you.
Outer Authority (The Strategy)
(25:47) So that is like your inner authority. Now we need to talk about your outer authority, right? This is your strategy, your brand, your structure. It's about having offers that are positioned well, having a really clear like vehicle, with how you help your clients. This is the thing that really shifts things for you. So it's your positioning, your visibility, the way you package your offers.
(26:17) And outer authority makes you really the undeniable person in the market. It's what lets clients like really instantly recognize that "she's the one," like, "she's the coach that I really want to work with." The outer authority also puts you in a category of one where there is no competition, where you don't sound like a copy-paste version of every other person on the internet. It's like, "Wow, she's got something entirely unique and different going on. I want to be a part of that."
Integration
(26:48) And here's the kicker, one without the other doesn't work. So you need both the inner and outer authority. A lot of people will say like, "Well, I just need to go work on my mindset blocks. And once that's done, then I'll come back into my strategy," and it's like, no. You know how you work on your... on your mindset, on your belief system? It's through action. It's really through action.
(27:10) And if you only have inner authority without outer authority, you're magnetic, but you're broke because you're stuck. You're not moving forward because you're spending all your time going internal, right? We have to take action in order to create a result.
(27:26) And if you only have outer authority without inner authority, you're successful, but you might feel burnt out.
(27:36) So conscious leadership is really the integration of both. It's the inner and the outer. It's the frequency and the framework. It's power plus strategy.
(27:46) And let's be real, if you've been operating from By Me level two consciousness for too long, you've been proving. You've been carrying it all on your back, and yes, you've made money doing it, but you know it's not really sustainable. You know you could be having way more fun in your business. The truth is, you don't need to prove you can sell anymore. You've already done that.
(28:06) Now it's about stepping into conscious leadership where sales flow, not because you forced them, but because you are the authority inside and out.
(28:20) And in the next episode, I'm going to show you what happens when you've proven you can sell, but your body, your nervous system, and your identity can't actually hold the level of wealth you're calling in, because strategy will get you money, but only identity and capacity will let you keep it and will let it compound and grow. So in the next episode, we are going to talk about the wealth identity shift, and I can't wait to see you there.
